ThiS is My SoNg

It is quite funny to recall that Sunday morning service. A couple years ago as I was singing during worship, I watched a man in the pew before me, do something peculiar. He and his wife were singing along, as I was, when it became evident he wished they were a couple more pews ahead. He reached up toward to his hearing aid and turned the knob. My guess is, he was turning it down. He was tuning me down. On this day, my singing was a bit too much for the elderly man and his wife. I smiled about it then and laugh about it now. It's true, I can sometimes get loud. I get it honest - being raised on a softball field with the loudest mother on the bleachers.

What if, instead of laughing, I decided to never sing in worship again? That would be me, sEEkiNg to PLeAsE someone less than God. I would be worshiping, suppressed by the reality that not everyone (probably not most) desires to hear me sing at the crest of my lungs. But what of God? How would He respond if I laid aside my loud worship to Him, because it wasn't pleasing to OthErS? That would be service and worship to something less than the only God deserving of it. 

Let me gEt to the GriT. 
This post isn't really about my literal singing in church. It's about me siNgiNg my real sOnG. Here's what I mean. I heard a song recently, which I had heard dozens of times. This time was different. I caught a line of the tune I had never recognized before. Here is what the artist sang ". . . singing my heart is one of my dreams."* It was overwhelming - so much so that I text my husband in excitement. Those words left me realizing; what was in my heart, was a different kind of sOnG.  The artist's words brought to life, what I had been claiming for years."I just want to get all that's in my heart... OuT! The lyrics struck me into the realization that WoRdS are the song that I pour my heart into. WriTiNg is my sOnG.

I desire to wRiTe my HeArT. I've known this for a while, but never wanted to admit it to much of anyone. Afraid I guess, of many things internally, but also afraid of the critics and the skeptics. Catch the hypocrisy? I do. The reality of NoT writing because of disapproval, is the same as writing (or singing)  FoR approval.

So here is just a glimpse of the journey I've so far endured toward pouring out my heart. It's been at times, a struggle. Even warfare if you would believe. But has also filled my heart with peace and blessings. 

                      Successes and defeats.

              Blessing and not-so much blessings.

                                  Encouragements and discouragements. 

                           Approval and disapproval. 

The adventure toward my desire of wRiTiNg my HeArT has provoked glimpses of heaven, and the wrath of a portion of hell. But here is me, still. I just CaN't gEt aWaY FrOm iT. Bound, if you will, to the portion God allotted to me. Pleasing to critics or not-so much, it's my duty. Christ used the word "duty" to remind His servants of something I've just begun to realize was mine to claim . . . 

"when you have done all those things which are commanded you, say, 

'We are unprofitable servants; 

we have done that which was our duty to do'" 

(Luke 17:10).

That which is our duty. 

This which is mine. 

We are to worship and serve God, not according to the pleasure of others but according to His pleasure! Seeking the aPPrOvaL of CriTiCs is simply seeking against God. Against our duty.

Oliver Wendell Holmes once stated 

"Many people die with their music still in them. . ." 

He was also wise enough to realize why this is the reality of some. . . 

"too often it is because they are getting ready to live. . ."

Ever been stuck in "getting ready to live"? If you are like me, you have for tOO long. There's no better time than NoW to move beyond "I'm going to". So let's bring this home to you. I gotta ask, "wHaT is YoUr sOnG?" What is that thing you do, which you know for certain God created as your dUtY? What is it that you are sometimes skepticized and criticized for, but compelled to do anyway? 

In other words, "WhAt's StiLL iN YoU?" 

          Whatever it is, pour it out. 

                    Don't miss yOuR sOnG. 

If we aren't stewards of God's time, we will miss the chance to sing. And if we aren't careful, we will miss enjoying someone else's song because we were too busy being critics. I am too old to waste God's time, so I find the words of Solomon ringing true in my days.

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; 

for there is no work, or device, or knowledge, or wisdom, 

in the grave, where you go. 

(Ecclesiasties 9:10 modified) 

This journey is one toward the grave and I still have something to siNg before I get there!

       So, this is mE,

              siNgiNg My sOnG.

               
        Are you singing yours?

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# HaShTag ReHaSheS #

#WriTinG-my-HeArT

#CaN't-gEt-aWaY-fRoM-iT

#approval-OF-critics

#WhAt'S-sTiLL-iN-YoU

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 * Reflective Rehashes * 

Have-Ta Ask: If you haven't already asked yourself - "What is yOuR song?".

Praisin' God Today: God, thank you for fashioning me toward a particular dUtY! Thank you that you equipped me to complete something for your Kingdom and that I can enjoy the process of serving you through singing my own song! You are my Creator and Sustainer - thank you for the opportunity to serve and worship you.

Askin' God Today: God, give me the knowledge to know my song and the cOuRaGe to sin it. Help me to remember that through my duty, I glorify you and that is where I am validated. Give me strength to do as you have created me and to work hard for you.

Soakin' Up Scripture: Psalm 103:15 As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. For the wind passes over it, and it is gone; and the place where it was shall know it no more. (KJV modified).

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* Brandon Heath's song: "Wait and See"  * Scripture is KJV, modified.